The Best and Worst Sex Advice: What to Follow & Avoid

Sex is one of the most talked-about yet misunderstood aspects of human life. Everyone seems to have an opinion about it—friends, family members, movies, social media influencers, self-help books, and even strangers online. 

Some advice is helpful and grounded in science, while other guidance is outdated, misleading, or even harmful. Knowing the difference between the best and worst sex advice can significantly affect not only your physical health but also your emotional well-being and relationship satisfaction.

In today’s digital age, misinformation spreads quickly. From exaggerated performance standards to myths about intimacy and desire, poor advice can create unnecessary pressure, confusion, and insecurity. 

This comprehensive guide breaks down the best and worst sex advice, explains why some common beliefs persist, and offers evidence-based insights to help you build a healthier, more fulfilling sex life.

Why Sex Advice Matters — And Why It’s So Often Wrong

Sexuality isn’t just physical — it’s emotional, social, cultural, psychological, and highly personal. Good sex advice helps people feel safer, healthier, more connected, and more confident in their intimate lives.

Bad advice, on the other hand, can lead to discomfort, misunderstanding, anxiety, unrealistic expectations, or even physical harm.

Many traditional sources of information for example, abstinence-only sex education avoid teaching critical aspects of sexual health and pleasure.

Research has shown that these approaches tend to be ineffective at reducing risky behaviours or improving long-term health outcomes, particularly because they often omit comprehensive information about contraception, consent, and communication.

At the same time, misinformation fueled by pornography, online forums, or outdated cultural myths can create unrealistic benchmarks for performance, frequency, or pleasure leading to confusion, pressure, and even shame.

The Best Sex Advice: What Experts Agree On

1. Focus On Communication — Always

If there’s one piece of advice that appears consistently in sexual health literature and expert opinion, it’s this: communication is essential. Talking openly about desires, boundaries, comfort levels, and what feels good or doesn’t can make sex more satisfying for both partners.

Communication isn’t just about telling your partner what you want it also includes listening without judgment, discussing fantasies in a safe space, and revisiting earlier conversations to refine what works for both of you.

While communication can be challenging for many people (communication skills are learned, not innate), it remains one of the most effective ways to navigate intimacy.

2. Consent Is Non-Negotiable

Healthy sexual experiences begin with clear, enthusiastic, ongoing consent. Consent isn’t a one-time checkbox, it’s a continuous agreement between partners that respects both people’s autonomy and comfort. Consent should be explicit, freely given, and able to be withdrawn at any time.

3. Safety First — Protect Yourself and Your Partner

“Safer sex” isn’t just a slogan — it’s about minimizing risk so that physical intimacy doesn’t put anyone at unnecessary risk of infection or unplanned pregnancy:

• Use condoms or dental dams for vaginal, anal, and oral sex.
• Consider additional contraceptive methods based on your needs.
• Get regular screening for sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
• Talk about both partners’ sexual health histories before intimacy.
• Avoid sex when alcohol or drugs impair judgment.

These aren’t just best practices — they are essential routines for sexual wellbeing and long-term health.

4. Hygiene Matters — But Don’t Overdo It

Good hygiene can reduce the risk of urinary tract infections (UTIs) and irritation, but there’s also a lot of unnecessary advice around overly aggressive washing or using “special” products.

Experts recommend gentle cleaning with warm water, avoiding harsh soaps on genital areas, and not using scented washes that can disrupt natural pH balance.

5. Pleasure Is Multifaceted — Not Just Orgasm

One of the most harmful myths in sex culture is that a sexual encounter is “successful” only if both partners orgasm every time.

In reality, sexual satisfaction is much broader it includes emotional connection, physical comfort, mutual respect, shared pleasure, and even moments of laughter or closeness.

Focusing exclusively on orgasm can create performance anxiety and detract from the intimate experience.

6. Safe, Healthy Sex Is Normal

Whether it’s frequency, technique, or expression, there’s no single “normal” when it comes to sex. Some couples may engage frequently; others less so. The key is that both partners feel comfortable and consensual in whatever rhythm they find together.

The Worst Sex Advice: What You Should Ignore (Or Avoid)

While some guidance can be empowering, other advice whether popular, humorous, or passed down casually can be misleading, unhelpful, or even harmful.

1. “Porn Shows How Real Sex Works”

One of the most problematic beliefs many people internalize is using pornography as a sex education tool.

Pornography is scripted, edited, and often enhanced with drugs or camera tricks it doesn’t accurately reflect real people’s bodies, desires, communication, or intimacy.

Believing porn sets unrealistic expectations and can interfere with genuine connection and pleasure.

2. “There’s a Set Script for ‘Proper’ Sex”

Some bad advice frames sex as a rigid sequence — like a checklist of acts leading to a “successful” encounter.

Experts criticize this approach, emphasizing that reducing sex to a formula promotes unrealistic standards and marginalizes diverse sexualities and preferences.

3. “You Have to Have Penetrative Sex to Be Intimate”

Along the same lines, some advice suggests that “real” sex means intercourse. Intimacy can include foreplay, touching, oral sex, mutual exploration, cuddling, and emotional connection.

Reducing intimacy to one specific act undermines the richness of human sexual expression.

4. “You Should Always Orgasm — Every Time”

As mentioned earlier, pressuring yourself or your partner to climax can turn sex into a performance — and that’s exactly the opposite of what creates deeper satisfaction and connection.

5. “Avoid Talking About Sex — It’s Awkward or Taboo”

Avoidance doesn’t actually resolve discomfort. In fact, choosing silence over shared understanding perpetuates confusion, anxiety, and misinformation.

While opening up about intimate desires and boundaries isn’t always easy, it’s a crucial part of building trust and mutual satisfaction.

6. “If It Hurts, Just Power Through It”

Pain during sex shouldn’t be ignored — it can indicate insufficient lubrication, an uncomfortable position, tension, or even underlying medical concerns.

Using numbing sprays, rough techniques, or ignoring discomfort may make things worse. Instead, increase lubrication, slow down, change techniques, or communicate what feels uncomfortable.

7. “More Sex Means a Better Relationship”

While sex can certainly enhance connection, it’s not a universal indicator of relationship health. Emotional intimacy, respect, trust, communication, shared goals, and mutual care all contribute to relationship satisfaction.

A couple can have great intimacy without sex, and conversely, frequent sex does not guarantee happiness.

Common Misconceptions and Myths That Deserve a Reality Check

Myth: Condoms Kill Sensation

False. High-quality latex, polyisoprene, or polyurethane condoms paired with appropriate lubrication can be highly effective without compromising sensation.

Using oil-based lubricants with latex condoms however can weaken them and increase the risk of breakage  a crucial detail many people miss.

Myth: Everyone’s Experience Should Look the Same

People often think “normal sex life” follows a single pattern but like love languages, sexual preferences vary. What’s enjoyable for one person may not be for another, and that’s okay.

Tailoring intimacy to your unique relationship is far healthier than conforming to generalized standards.

Myth: You Can Judge Health by Physical Traits

Some popular beliefs claim physical appearances can indicate sexual history or desirability but these ideas are baseless and harmful.

Sexual health should be assessed via medical screening and honest conversation, not arbitrary physical assumptions.

Practical Tips for Healthy, Fulfilling Sex

Now that we’ve covered what not to do — here’s a straightforward checklist of advice rooted in science and professional guidance:

✔ Consent and Communication First

Always check in with your partner before, during, and after intimate moments.

✔ Use Protection and Get Tested

Condoms, dental dams, and regular STI screenings protect you and your partner.

✔ Explore With Respect and Curiosity

Understand each other’s bodies, take time to learn what feels good, and don’t rush.

✔ Prioritize Comfort and Pleasure

Listener feedback matters — pleasure is not a race or a checklist.

✔ Watch Out for Pain

If anything feels uncomfortable, pause and adjust — communication and a slower pace help.

✔ Learn Your Body

Self-exploration isn’t taboo — it helps you communicate needs more effectively to a partner.

✔ Update Your Knowledge

Sexual health science evolves — credible sources, sexual health professionals, or certified educators are the best sources of reliable information.

Conclusion: Better Guidance Leads to Better Lives

Sex is a common human experience — but shared cultural myths, media misinformation, and casual storytelling have muddied the waters about what constitutes good advice.

Whether you’re new to intimacy or a seasoned partner, it’s worth separating the signals from the noise. The best sex advice empowers you with knowledge, respect, consent, communication, bodily autonomy, safety, and pleasure.

The worst advice trivializes intimate connection, creates unnecessary pressure, or promotes practices that may cause discomfort or harm.

By grounding your understanding in credible health guidance and compassionate communication, you can foster a sex life that strengthens both your emotional connection and personal wellbeing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

References

• https://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_health
• https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex
• https://www.webmd.com/sex/guide/healthy-sex-life
• https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/sexual-health